Believe it or not, this is you! The you that is Laura Rowland until you close this browser tab, that is. You are the daughter of local legend Robert Rowland, and HEIRESS APPARENT TO A BEAT UP 1996 FORD F-250. You sit in your bedroom, adorned with various belongings of yours. Consider inspecting them. Otherwise, you might as well get out of the house.
It's Lance the lancetfish! He may only be a plush toy, but every night, you're the one sleeping on *his* bed.
You like to program computers and you would say you are PRETTY OK AT IT. Running here is one of your bots made for the DisNsion social messenger program. You spend hours planning out possible conversations and ways for the bot to respond accordingly.
Although you have a desktop PC, every once in a while you enjoy getting your computer time on the floor, with your back curled into an almost shrimplike shape. To build character.
You enjoy fishing, but you don't know how to fish with a pole. Most of the time, you and your dad try to rip the fish out of the water with your hands. This here is the taxidermy of the only one you ever caught!
This is one of your many CD alarm clocks! You pick them up all the time at the thrift store because you find old tech to be just SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME AND CUTE! This one's dishing out the sweet sounds of one of your dad's old Poi Dog Pondering CDs.
An old book that fell onto the floor a minute ago when you were pacing around the room and bumped into the shelf. You should probably take it off the floor.
In this file are dozens of notes, once hidden throughout the house to commemorate every little step in your journey towards manhood, in every possible case your dad wouldn't be there in the moment to congratulate you himself. Since it turned out you were a girl instead, you had to correct every card as you found them yourself in red ink.
Normally you or your dad is sitting on the remote. You're proud of her for surviving for so long.
Hey, it's still you!
When you replaced your toaster in the kitchen, you and your dad threw the toaster up here so you could make toast while you watch TV. It's been unplugged for a long time. You could probably take it with you.
The TV used to be downstairs, in the living room before one fateful christmas. Before that, the whole family would crowd around this old TV together. Grober's Revenge, DR. LOPSTOSTEIN'S HORRIFYING MONSTERS, Seinfeld, America's Most Funniest Rodents. You'd sit down and the hours would slip away. Nowadays your Dad's the only one to use this thing.
Your mom has cultivated a library over the years so boring that you can't bring yourself to pick up this
Despite the original living room now being dedicated to your Dad's various hobbies, he still finds a way to make his shit seep out of the walls of the house.
